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As “righting a wrong” can be subjective, part of your goal of making amends is to determine what will be needed to help the situation with each person. However, even if you feel extremely motivated to make direct amends, it is advisable to take your time with this step. Make sure that you are comfortable with your progress during recovery and that both you and the other person are ready to engage in the process. Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed.
- Also, you need to be prepared to listen to the other person when they explain how you harmed them and what other consequences it had in their lives.
- We offer same day phone screenings for no cost to determine if our services are right for your recovery.
- We believe that the only path to forgiveness is asking it of the person we love, the person we believe we hurt, and making amends for what we did wrong.
- We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments.
- It wasn’t to secure the outcome you imagined or hoped would happen.
Making amends in addiction recovery is a vital part of repairing the relationships in your life. During addiction treatment at Royal Life Centers, each guest is able to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and gain insight from their past and present. Guests are provided with intensive therapies to gain this insight in order to use it to make positive changes in their lives. Recovery from addiction holds many changes, it is a transformative experience that changes your life for the better. When someone is struggling with substance abuse, their disease affects not only themselves but also everyone around them.
STEPS 8 & 9
The person may need to know the hurt will never be caused again before working on trust. “Living amends” is about making daily changes, walking the walk, and showing a true commitment to everyone around. True changes show that the person is serious and is working little by little to shift towards a positive space with all involved.
- In these situations, leave the person on your Step 8 list.
- You may learn that your offense is easily forgiven and long forgotten.
- When someone harms others, they often lose a relationship with that person or at least that person’s trust.
- Remember, we are present to clean “our side of the street” or address our wrongs and roles to the best of our ability.
Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology. I have made many amends for my past while living as an alcoholic. Amends allow me to also right the wrongs I may continue to make. It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live.
Making Amends: How to Repair the Damage Caused by Active Addiction
Perhaps while you were in active addiction, you betrayed your loved one by stealing money from them. Now is your chance to apologize for that behavior and repay them. Make a direct, financial amend by setting up recurring payments until you have repaid everything you owe.
When someone wants to make amends?
If you really want to make amends, you need to tell the other person what you really feel. Let them know your regrets and your hopes. This will help the other person understand your side of the story. Pour your heart out and cry as much as you want.
Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process. They may find resolution and understanding about the past. Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive living amends person in your recovery. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends. There may be so many times we feel we let someone down that it can be hard to know where to begin.
Begin your journey of recovery
We should go easy on the words and strong on the actions. After all, years of drug or alcohol abuse will not be undone with an apology or a few simple words. We need to prove to our children that we are seriously addressing our addiction, not just offering cheap words.
We’ve filled you in on things that can exacerbate guilt, like hindsight bias and survivors’ guilt. We’ve given you journaling exercises around coping with regret. Your donation will provide a scholarship to someone in recovery, supporting them through the first few months of sober living in one of our partner organizations. To learn how your gift supports our scholarship, click below. My name is Kyle, and I have been a blessed recipient of [a] sober living scholarship program from Living Amends. That is just one small example of what are living amends.
We Are Ready to Assist You
Part of my https://ecosoberhouse.com/ is also being the friend my friends deserve and the employee my employers hired in good faith. Living amends touches deep parts of our lives and souls if we allow them. It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different. Making these types of life improvements typically requires that you work with a counselor or therapist who can provide an outsider’s perspective and objective view of your life.